Autism, Guilt, and Blame
Autism, Guilt, and Blame …
In life, disasters inevitably come. When they do, I have a tendency to blame myself. At the onset of finding out the news that my son, Jeremy, was autistic, I followed the typical pattern. I tried to figure out what I could have done wrong. I review my pregnancy and could think of nothing. I ate well and took care of my health. Maybe it was the time, I came to pick Jeremy up at daycare when he was one year old, and he was wet with bleach and no one had bothered to change him. Would that harm him like that? Did I make a mistake enrolling him in that place? Maybe.
Quickly my husband and I decided not to blame each other’s genes. That path was useless and would only make me bitter. Was our environment so toxic that he was affected? I feared it might be. But who knows a satisfactory answer to this mystery.
Eventually, I arrived at the decision that I had not caused my son’s autism. I then became more interested in how to fix it. Some would say you can’t, but I decided that there must be something to help Jeremy whatever the cause. At the time he was only two. It felt wrong to give up on a two year old. Within a few months I set up a plan…it was a concentrated effort and laying down a structured, rigorous plan to work with Jeremy for six hours a day six days a week. Part of the plan was to make learning positive and fun for him. I finally knew I was doing all I could do to help Jeremy, but in doing that I helped myself. Giving Jeremy what he needed had taken the focus off who to blame. The focus was on teaching my son and redirecting him when he needed it. The program help me to stay disciplined and on task. We had dramatic and wonderful results. The life of my son was at stake; it was all worth the effort.
Read the detail of my program…lessons I learned…and the amazing results…buy A Life to Rescue: The True Story of a Child Freed from the Bonds of Autism… visit: www.aLifetoRescue.com .
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Karen Michelle Graham
E-mail: karen@aLifetoRescue.com
~ Announcing Hope Over Autism ~
Visit: www.alifetorescue.com
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Autism and Tantrums
Autism & Tantrums…
Shrieks exploded from my son’s mouth. He fell to the floor.
I reached down to pick him up. He pulled with all his might the opposite direction. Angry tears ran down his face. It’s incredible how much power an autistic two-year-old can have when resisting what he found hateful. All I wanted to do is teach him a few action verbs. On that particular day, giving up seemed the only logical thing to do. I stood and left the room. Frustration ate at my gut, and fear for my son’s future settled heavily in my heart.
Similar autistic tantrums had happened before, and I felt helpless to stop his outbursts. What did I expect? He was autistic.
The first time I read about behavior management I put it into practice that day. It worked! My son had thrown one of his autistic tantrums at bedtime so I lifted him and set him down in the right direction, complimenting him for going in the right direction (even though I prompted the action). Each time he took a step toward the bedroom, I said, “Yes. Good. That what I want you to do.”
To convert what I learn in that one setting didn’t always work in other situations. But I began to learn behavior management technics that worked. For instance, one key when working at the table was not to give in but worked through the autistic tantrums. If it was time to quit, I waited until I knew he couldn’t connect it to the tantrum.
See http://autism.healingthresholds.com/therapy/tantrum for another take on autistic tantrums.
Here are some keys: 1. Don’t focus on the tantrum. It is easy to inadvertently reward a child for a tantrum. Giving them attention for the tantrum sometimes does that. 2. Redirect the child to another task. If you are teaching him something, direct him and give him praise for anything right he does or says. 3. Learn more and more about fun, positive ways to use behavior management. (A good Applied Behavioral Analysis consultant should be able to help you.) 4. Teach every person in your child’s life how to handle tantrums. If just one person gives in, autistic tantrums will resurface.
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To purchase book: click here.
Karen Michelle Graham
E-mail: karen@aLifetoRescue.com
~ Announcing Hope Over Autism ~
Visit: www.alifetorescue.com
If you enjoyed my post about Autism please comment below!
Autism and Moments a Mom Can Cherish
Moments a Mom Can Cherish … During the process of publishing my book about my family’s struggle against autism, I met someone with an autistic child. She found out that my nineteen-year-old son, Jeremy, used to be autistic…had overcome self-stimulatory behavior, caught up with his peers developmentally, and learned to talk and socialize, overall, be a typical kid. I found out later she made a point to watch Jeremy in his school setting and even was involved in a trip out of state that he participated.
Later she said, “If I didn’t know your son’s history, I would never know he used to be autistic.”
Coming from someone who understands autism well, this is a profound statement. Similarly, I received an equally encouraging remark this past summer. Jeremy went to the beach with some friends and family. One of the friends is a clinical psychologist and had only met my son once when he was about four years old. He really liked my son, enjoyed his sense of humor, and was impressed with what a amazing person he has become.
How can it get any better than this? (o:
Read the book, A Life to Rescue: The True Story of a Child Freed from the Bond of Autism, and find out Jeremy’s journey from autism to wholeness. www.aLifetoRescue.com
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To purchase book: click here.
Karen Michelle Graham
E-mail: karen@aLifetoRescue.com
~ Announcing Hope Over Autism ~
Visit: www.alifetorescue.com
If you enjoyed my post about Autism please comment below!
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